The Reason For The Season

Over the course of the weekend, Saint Patrick's Day was celebrated by many. And those of you reading this are probably still shaking off your hangovers as you celebrated well into your Sunday. But as I sit here I prepare to be a buzz-kill, for not many realize the dark secret of an otherwise lively day.

Often, holidays are deemed harmless, treated with little concern and seen as a time for people to gather together and celebrate life with food, drink and family. But often these seemingly harmless days of celebration hide a darker secret behind their colorful trappings. Labor Day was infamously made possible by a massacre of dozens of people during a labor dispute, Memorial Day is a time of remembrance of those who gave their lives in service to their country and any number of other holidays can trace their lineage back to a time when larger churches tried to usurp the local culture. St. Patrick's Day is no exception to this, having a history of racism and stereotypes behind its cheerful, drunken demeanor.

Many have heard of the claims that Saint Patrick's Day is racist against the Irish or that the Irish use it as an excuse to become unruly. The day has been related to Ireland and their culture since the beginning and some would claim that a day famous for drinking may be an unfair representation of the Irish people. But what few have realized is that there's a far more sinister undercurrent of racism against an even smaller minority, both figuratively and literally: Leprechauns.

Once upon a time the traditional color for Saint Patrick's Day was blue and the feast was held for religious purposes. The story of Saint Patrick bringing Christianity to the Irish has been a part of their culture for centuries. But as time went on, the color slowly shifted towards green and the celebration turned towards more libatious gatherings. Over roughly the same period of time the traditional colors for the depictions of Leprechauns shifted from red to green. And so, a once religious holiday now became a day when people dressed like Leprechauns and made light of the infamous drinking problems of the wee folk.

Overnight, the Leprechaun became a mascot for a day that didn't represent their best interests. And, of course, this wouldn't be the first time a mascot was degrading to who they were based on. We've frequently seen the kind of things that people have turned into mascots, such as:

Redskins

Indians

Fighting Irish

And people have protested all of these. When someone is discriminated against, someone comes to the defense of that ethnicity and tells the others that it is not okay. So long as it is "human" it is not acceptable. Thus the Indians mascot, despite their logo being an "Indian", actually looks like this:

But look at the last one for a moment there and consider what that actually looks like. Have you ever seen an Irishman dressed that way? No, it looks like a leprechaun. And how are they depicted there? Violent and disorderly.

For a very long time, Leprechauns have been treated as second or third class citizens with stories about how imprisoning them would benefit their captors or that they were the causes of mischief for no reason at all. And while it is true that there is a tendency for disorderly behavior among their people, the truth of Leprechauns is that many of them are alcoholics, and should be helped, not mocked.

But this isn't the only time when a Holiday has taken the image of an unfortunate Alter and twisted it to their own means. Consider Cupid, a small, winged cherub with no apparent clothes forced to hunt for his livelihood with a small bow that he clearly had to make himself.

Has anyone thought to rise to his defense or provide him with food, clothing and shelter? As you hand chocolates to your lover, have you ever considered that the boy depicted on the box has to hunt for his food?

Yes, Cupid often hunts humans, but if you were that hungry, wouldn't you too?

And what of the Christmas Elves? For a few months of the year, the Christmas Elves are paid slave wages, worked at all hours and pushed to fill an unreasonable quota in below zero temperatures under the authority of a man who is clearly not only a glutton but has all of the signs of severe substance abuse problems.

And then what? As the season is over, they're unemployed once again, pushed aside and forgotten for the rest of the year, left without anywhere to turn to and discriminated against because their youthful features make them appear to violate child labor laws, something Mr. Claus has never addressed in the past.

Often, the only means for these poor souls to find employment the rest of the year is to dress in diapers for New Years and Valentines or don a green outfit and take part in the bigotry of the Saint Patrick's Day revelry.

And thus, the circle is complete.

If you think this is unacceptable, know Leprechauns, Elves or even have one in your family - show your support for Alters United. Together, we can stop the hate

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?

There's little doubt that one of the most thought provoking figures in American history is Abraham Lincoln. Long recognized as one of the greatest presidents in American history, Lincoln's been immortalized with holidays, currency and even his face on a mountain. As a man who stood for the rights of an oppressed minority and then was killed for his convictions, Lincoln is fondly remembered and often studied as a curiosity. Many theories have come to light over the years of the secret life of Lincoln. Some believe he was a homosexual or that he had African ancestry and both of these theories have often been used to explain his unconventional attitudes of the time. Throughout the years Lincoln has been everything from an alcoholic to a rags to riches story and everything in between. But, according to many recently, he was also apparently a Vampire Hunter.



I am dumbfounded by this development. I'll ignore the fact that there was no time for a man of Lincoln's responsibilities to take part in such activities. I'll even forgive the idea that Lincoln could be so well trained and physically adept and yet be murdered by a man who announced his assassination as he was about to pull the trigger. The great injustice in this depiction is that Lincoln was clearly a Woodwose.

And, knowing this, we can tell that Lincoln would not have hunted Vampires. No Alter would have gone out of their way to begin a personal crusade against other Alters. Yes, there have been conflicts in the past between one race or another. There have even been entire wars fought between what we would consider the Fae (Elves, Dwarves, Oracles and the like) and their more aggressive Drow brethren (Vampires, Succubi, Zombies etc.). But the idea of a single Alter going out of their way to kill other Alters? That is a travesty brought about by unchecked revisionist history proposed by hatemongers who revel in the idea of their president being one of theirs.

But, as I just said, anyone with some observation can see that Lincoln was, in fact, a Woodwose.

Height

The typical depiction of a Woodwose shows them to be incredibly large compared to the average person. They often tower above people around themselves as though they were giants, usually with very plant-like builds and features. With depictions of Lincoln often being on his own or in giant statue form, it is often easy to forget that he was a tall, spindly man that was built like a small tree.

Features

The typical Woodwose has often been said to have animal like features, a general wildness about them and the impression they came from the wilderness. And, while clearly visible in the pictures of the man, it really helps to hear it from the people who saw him personally.

The two men presented a wide contrast in personal appearance, Lincoln being 6 feet 3 inches high, lean, angular, raw boned, with a complexion of leather, unkempt, and with clothes that seemed to have dropped on him and might drop off

Clearly, the texture of Lincoln's skin was tough and his grooming was unusual. Along with a slightly misshapen face (that some believe was a genetic condition even outside of Alter circles) and incredibly large ears, Lincoln's features could be described in some circles as unnatural.

Hair

And while the man was often described as unkempt, it was typically due to his somewhat wild hair. Regardless of how many pictures he had taken or how often he'd attempted to cover it with his signature hat, one thing was for certain, the man's hair was not to be tamed. Even groomed at his best, it was clear that the man's hair had a mind of its own, much like the Woodwose of lore being covered in animal like hair.

The Wilderness

Most important of them all is the fact Lincoln's origins match those of the Woodwose of legend. Lincoln was famously raised in a log cabin near Hodgenville, Kentucky: a place which, at the time, was a wild frontier land with a thriving population of wild animals that were still firmly in control of the region. Born and raised in these surroundings, Lincoln literally was the wild man of the woods and, when coming to civilization, his children were themselves often described with wild behavior. Lincoln also bonded with animals, being quoted once as saying he supported animal rights. These traits, due to his hidden nature and upbringing, show a clear connection to the wilderness he came from.

Certainly these are circumstantial, like any theories regarding Lincoln, but even the medical community agrees that something was off about the man physically. And worst of all is that, despite this evidence, the people promoting the Vampire Hunter depiction have begun a "Patriot or Vampire" campaign, implying that Alters are not patriotic. As an Alter-American myself, a proud one at that, I am appalled at this implication.

Lincoln himself proved the patriotism of Alter-kind. Clearly, Lincoln exemplified all of the good traits of the Woodwose - being attuned to nature and seeing beyond the obvious. A man of vision, born of the woods and possessing an unnatural form more akin to the land he came from: this was no Alter-slayer. No, if any people are to make claim to this great American, it should be Alter-kind and we should not accept this revisionist history when it gets to theaters in June.

Sure, it may be tempting to watch as Abraham Lincoln, national hero, combats others with what appears to be hatchets and axes that he swings around with a martial arts flare. It may even be tempting to watch him lead the charge at a superior force. But these flashy, tantalizing images are a lie. No, despite the flash and the spectacle, the patriotic thing is to stand our ground, be heard and tell them that this fabrication cannot stand.

For the good of our people, for the good of the future, for the good of the country - Do not watch Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter on June 22nd!

This message brought to you by Alters United - where we know the difference between a Woodwose and a Vampire Hunter.